Today, I am managing my depression by buying a lot of food that looks good, but then not eating it.
not just followers, everyone.
I’m here if any of you need to talk<3
The best part is, this post actually does something, it offers support, unlike one of those useless “reblog if you care” posts.
Exactly. Which is why I’ll reblog this one.
I’m still basically heartbroken right now. My job that I lost was taking care of my godson, who is ten months old now. I’m not clear on if I’m ever going to get to be part of his life again. For the last eight months, he has been the most important thing in my life.
I lived with him and his dads, and now that they’ve fired me, I need to move out. It was always a possibility that we’d all decide me living there wasn’t working, and we’d have to do something else. But instead of talking about it and arranging for me to have a couple of weeks to prepare (and give them time to find alternate daycare), they decided to flip out when I said I wanted to purchase a new stroller with my money because it would make it easier to get around with Eitan.
That clearly isn’t the only thing that was wrong. Jonathan started shouting at me for asking if I could have a waffle when they made waffles the other day (they always told me I could feel free to ask if they had extra food, because they never finish their leftovers). He shouted at me for asking to give Eitan a hug on days when I wasn’t technically working (but in the last eight months, has never told me he had an issue with that). I have sat down with them repeatedly, and even asked that we’d schedule meetings every couple of weeks, so we could ensure that we were communicating any issues. I have said over and over: I don’t have the ability to read moods, facial expressions and body language are generally invisible to me, I have no problem with them saying they need space or whatever. But they apparently thought I knew they were upset at me and that I was purposefully trying to annoy them or something.
One of the reasons I became their nanny is because my anxiety and agoraphobia got so bad that there are many days when I can’t leave the house. They were worried about me. They told me they wanted me to be there so that I could manage my anxiety. They told me they wanted to be there for me, because they felt I’d do better if I lived with other people than living alone. I was doing better. So much better. Taking care of Eitan made me feel more secure than I can ever remember feeling.
But when Jonathan was shouting at me he said that my anxiety didn’t matter. That I wasn’t there to deal with anxiety, only to do what they said. Apparently without question.
They told me when we first decided to do this that I was family. But when they fired me, Jonathan told me that I was just hired help.
And all Gitai would say was that I had crossed a line. My best friend of 17 years, and all he did was sit there and not make eye contact, and then just say that I crossed a line.
Yesterday I lost my job, my home, and my best friend all at once.
I’m staying with my sister for now. I’m probably going to be moving in with my mom in the near future. For now, I don’t have my own computer or most of my other stuff. I mean, I still have it, it’s just staying in my previous home until I can move it all. But for now, I just have what I could stuff into a suitcase yesterday in my rush to get out of my ex-friend’s home.
I guess that’s all I can manage to say about that right now.
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I am so freaking annoyed with my friend right now. He acts like I’m trying to steal his child’s love from him, when he hired me to be his nanny. It’s not my fault I spend 8+ hours with his son every day. He asked me to do this. He acts like I’m having a party with his baby every day. He should fucking know better. He spent the first two months home with Eitan and he complained constantly that Jonathan didn’t understand how much work that was. Now he’s acting like I’m just goofing off.
I also spend the days cleaning, doing laundry, looking up childcare related stuff when I’m asked, taking care of the pets.
So, we have this stroller that is huge and heavy and really difficult to take on the bus. But I need to take Eitan to play dates, to the park, sometimes to other places. His dads want me to take him to the aquarium more too, since they got a family pass and it’s free for us. Eitan is big enough to start using one of those light weight folding strollers and I’ve been telling them for weeks that we need to get one, because I can’t manage the giant tank of a stroller we currently have. I research to make sure Eitan is safe with a three point harness (because that’s what most of those light weight strollers have), find a stroller for $25 at target, and ask if I can just bring it home.
And his dad says no, because he’s not “comfortable” with the three point harness. After I’ve done all the research, and talking to other moms in the neighborhood and shit.
It just pisses me off. Because his concern isn’t really just about Eitan’s safety. It’s the fact that he doesn’t need an easier to handle stroller, because he isn’t the one who is constantly using it. As soon as using the monster stroller is an inconvenience to him, then he’ll be OK with getting a lightweight one. But when it’s just inconveniencing the nanny, then fuck them.
But he still gives me a hard time about not taking Eitan to the aquarium more.
If they weren’t getting ready for the second night of Passover right now, I’d talk to them about how frustrating this is. For now, though, I found a folding stroller with a five point harness on amazon for $50 that I expect him to order tonight.
I’m really sorry but I don’t think there’s anything you can do to subtly change the situation, because her kind of behavior is almost always acceptable in the workplace, while complaining about it in any way is almost always not acceptable.
Probably the best you can do is to be very cold to her and discourage any social interaction whatsoever. Hopefully she’ll pick up on that and won’t immediately jump onto you and ask you to talk Japanese or send her special things from Japan or insult you for not being Japanese enough. If she ignores all the social cues and starts talking about inappropriate sexual stuff, tell her to stop and keep a record of it.
If she ever starts talking about Japan, stare through her (imagine a point about two feet behind her head) and make random humming noises as if to yourself. This usually makes people uncomfortable enough to change the subject without giving them a reason to go their boss to complain about you.
I’ve actually been involved in HR at a couple of different companies, and in the US, employers should take complaints about racism very seriously (if this future coworker does anything racist at work. Doing racist stuff outside of work or on FB can get people in trouble with some companies, but that’s a whole different thing).
Most of the time, I’d do like Solace says, if she does something inappropriate, tell her to stop (unfortunately, since you’re at work, you have to be polite about it, but be firm) and keep a record. But don’t do this just for sexual harassment, do it when she’s racist too. Keep your immediate supervisor in the loop when it starts (or if you’re not comfortable going to them, go up the chain of command until you find someone you are comfortable with, or until you’re talking to HR directly).
What should happen is that your immediate supervisor will communicate with HR about the issue and talk to the weeaboo (or her supervisor will), possibly with HR there. If the behavior continues, then depending on the company’s policy, they should move things around so she doesn’t interact with you at all, without endangering your job.
Of course, not every company takes care of these situations properly. Anon knows their work place better than me, so they’ll know if they are putting themselves at risk in any way by making a complaint. Technically, if they do experience further harassment or if they lose their job (or get demoted) because they complain, then they’d have legal recourse to deal with the issue. But, not everybody has the ability to go that route.